Come back to me burning red

I keep reminding myself never to put myself in a situation whereby i'll be reliant and dependent on someone again.
I don't wanna go through the same shit heartbreak ever again. Crying till my eyes were so swollen looking so pathetic. No one to blame but myself for being so silly.
I never wanna see myself feeling so sad all over again. It's been so long but it doesn't mean i miss having my heart broken.

But most of all, i do miss receiving good morning texts the first thing i wake up, i do miss having someone i'll called mine, someone who's gonna know me better than i know myself, someone whom is gonna be both my boyfriend and bestfriend, someone who's willing to shit talk with me the whole day texting each other and lazing around, someone who's able to love me at my worst, someone who will make me laugh on days i don't even feel like laughing, someone who is gonna teach me things i've never known, someone who is aware of my insecurities and is always sensitive about it. Someone whom i will love and will love me even more.

Please don't be so good to me. Please.

This is the starting of my greatest fear

Oh i'll make it without you, and though my bodies lying here it's my mouth that must be lying now

My monday is boring :( i'm pretty much nursing myself from the post-party depression and i kind of feel sick now sighpie. Lying on my bed doing nothing just watching youtube videos. 

So the guy is apparently napping now as he slept at 4am last night and woke up at 6.30am as he has to go back camp for training. I woke up at 10am and was told that he's already done with training already wtf i damn pig. I even fell asleep while texting with him last night zzzz. So yup....... I guess i'm gonna go take a nap after i'm done with the post and hope that he'd be awake by then time i'm up from my nap. 

But then again, i won't let myself be in a situation where i'll experience a heartbreak again. I won't let him close enough to hurt me. I won't let myself be dependent on him and then be lost when he's no longer here. I don't wanna waste anymore time on nursing a heartbreak, i'd rather waste my time nursing this current post-party depression...... at least i had fun. For this i promise myself i'll be strong and see how things go :)

edited/

So right after i'm done with this post the boy texted me hahahahha! He fell asleep at 11am+ just now and in 10mins time he told me his dog was barking and woke him up. I was having lunch then it was 20mins after he sent me that text. Now that he's awake it's my turn to take a nap. I'm so mentally drained and i dont know why too :(

You used to shine so brightly but i watched all of it fade

HI I'M BACK WITH PICTURES WOOHOO!!!!

Friday 05/10/2012. Day out with JX and K! ^^

Saturday 06/10/2012. Went for brunch at Strictly Pancakes with Bigfour!!! <3

Hehe my yummy homemade hot chocolate!

Our pancakessss!

With K in the mrt with bigfour to the airport!

Hehe bigfour my fav girls!!!! <3

My hair looks like it is being dip-dyed here although it's long gone :(

XX!!! The best kind of friend anyone could have :')

On our way to zouk last night!!!

So we went for strictly pancakes for brunch and headed to the airport yesterday to fetch JY! Damn shiok to see her go China for 5weeks so envyyyy. And it kind of sucked that i'm going to the airport but isn't travelling sighpie :(

So we went zouk last night!!!!!!!!!!!! With xx, k, c, her bf and 2 guys! Cleared one bottle of Bacardi before heading into zouk. The mixer they used really damn faaaaaaaaaaail. Bacardi apple + lime juice really not nice :( But 7UP with it was good love it! So we partyed and drank till we were goners. We drank bubblegum shots, flaming and stuffs. Super high and the uv lights inside zouk is forever so fun haha! I was told that i was actually dancing with a random guy AND THANKFULLY HE'S A HANDSOME ONE. He smelled so nice and C told me he damn good took care of me. After which i was being taken care by Ben (one of the two guys with us) and i heard i was a burden sighhhh. 

Funny thing is we're actually texting each other now and i'm so not gonna pin any hopes on this although he really seem to be a good guy (at least for now). He has 2 cars + family owns 2 factory + not flirty type (his friend told us) + stay in cck (SO NEAR ME OMG) + didn't take advantage of me while i was gone. Good catch right :/ And now he's asking me to go club again next week sigh sigh sigh howwwww :(

Lay down so i don't feel so sick

Self-shots woohoo! 

Been soooo long yes? :( Lazygirl94 has been really lazy to dress up these days.....

The Sun has been really good to me yesterday hehe. End up my photo come out so nice ^^

Daisy prints x hello kitty

Ate at Xinwang Hongkong Cafe!

Mango pomelo sago ice x peanut butter toast x custard bun

I SUPER LOVE THEIR CUSTARD BUN!!!!!!!!!!!

With C!!!!! #bff #anyhow #hashtag #again #mepeksial #lightningnotnice :(

Went out with her yesterday! And then she came out my house to book the air tix for bkk! We're done with the bookings for hotel and air tix woohoo!!!!!!!!!! Now we're just gonna wait for dec to come yay ^^v She's my 1st friend to see my newly revamped bedroom too hehe.

Gonna met xx and k tmrw!!!! Miss them so much i think it has been months since we last met :( And we're meeting again on saturday for strictly pancakes big4 date!!!!!!!!!!!! Then we will be fetching JY from the airport! Back from her 6weeks of internship in China ^^

Suddenly feel that we've really grown up. Feels like yesterday that we're still in secondary school, wasting our time away doing nothing all day, and now we're all in poly year2 already :') It feels really good that years down the road we're all still friends! Best gift i've received in my life. C, XX, K, JIAY, SM, ST, JUNY, ZG, HH. Wah i miss this maria :( He went korea today so shiok sighpie. Holidays is ending in 11 days time.... mixed feelings really.

AND ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I PASSED MY BASIC THEORY EVALUATION BITCHES NOW I'M GONNA WAIT FOR MY BASIC THEORY TEST WHICH IS IN DEC ZZZZZ. And i went jogging after my nap just now, i swear i almost died. I felt so miserable and my vision seems to be blocked by some dark shadows. Feel like vomitting too. SIAN I WAS HOPING I'D VOMIT COS I WNA SLIM DOWN :(

XOXO

Blow me one last kiss

I was looking through photos on my fb and saw all the office crap photos taken during my internship and i thought i'd share it here just in case i were to forget about them one day :-)

Taken on 24 August 2012, my advance 18th birthday celebration from TRUST! 

(my birthday falls on a Sunday this year)

LAST DAY!!!! See how happy i was? 

With our farewell cards + gifts :')

Capt Naing! 

Afterall, you're a good mentor and definitely a good general manager. I'm really grateful that i've met you, thank you for being so good to me!

Farewell speech........

My company damn standard even last day also want stress us. SEE MY STRESS FACE T_T

The ladies hehe. 

But Ms Raudha is not inside here :( she went on her maternity leave already!

With Mr. Richard the technical manager.

Super funny guy grateful that i've met him too :-)

And last but not the least........ MY BOSS.

Hehe he's a super good boss almost like our father already! Fierce and demanding at times but i know he's just very stressed. I should've been kinder to you back then but oh well..... I hope he'll be healthy and happy! :-)

Times like this i must admit i miss my intern company! They're good to us interns but at times they really know how to stress us :-( They don't treat us as interns actually, we're more to full-timers! Such a fun bunch of people whom i will definitely remember for the rest of my life. I will visit them when i have the time to! <3

You were my best four years

Before i start, remember this photo of laoban from my instagram that i blogged about in the post yesterday? The one i said i expect only 8 likes?.........

It has 20 likes currently #wtf #mepeksial #ridiculous #facepalm

Conclusion: POST MORE PHOTOS OF THE 'IN' FOOD/THINGS/PLACE IF YOU'RE DESPO FOR LIKES IN INSTAGRAM LOL. Seriously ah i think people who hate me will be like 'wtf bad lightning + background got the body shop's paper bag still can get 20 likes' #sourgrapes 

-

Anyways my poly clique damn noisy on whatsapp now cos we're discussing about pretty girls in our course LOL.......... And we're actually chatting about ML (my company's new intern whom is reallllly pretty!!!) 20+ ppl imagine how noisy is it currently *whispers to phone: STAY STRONG* haha but i really love my poly clique!!! Damn fun bunch of people to be with i'm so glad i met them! :') Good thing is we bitch about our classmates too LOL WE HATE THE SAME BUNCH OF PEOPLE KTHXBYE ^^

You shine like gold

Laoban!!! 

Adds captions like: #laoban #beancurd #yummy #foodporn #instafood #instafood #hahaha #nonsensehashtagging #mepeksial 

So i upload this photo to my instagram, not expecting much likes maybe around 8? End up this photo has 18 likes wtf. This made me further confirm that when you post the "in" food/thing, your photo is gonna get lotsa likes no matter how bad your photo is. Take mine for example, bad lightning + background but idky LOL JUST SO MANY LIKES

Not much of those self-obsessed photos these days as i've pretty much been rotting at home enjoying my holidays......... Days when i go out i don't dress up LOL AND I HOPE THAT I WON'T BUMP INTO PPL I KNOW ZZZ. But i'm gonna go out and socialize on wed, thur (maybe), fri and sat! So yup hello social life again HAHAHA. I prefer staying at home so much more tho :(

Oh yeah i went to my dad's side cousin's baby's 1st month birthday (aka my niece is it?) at The Parc Condo! I wasn't expecting anything la....... Like condo only who never go before right? Same as HDB just that they have security guards + gantries + swimming pool + gym only mah. But i was wrong. This condo made me change my impression of all condos! Not only they have more than 5 swimming areas, i must say the interior of this condo is pretty nice!!! We had lunch at the function room (which was really small i almost died cos it was so awkward there LOL) and went to my cousin's house! Change impression x2: the flat was big! Pretty similar to HDB houses as condos are usually smaller right! But pretty la i must say. Did i mention there's alot of angmoh's by the swimming pool?!?! All suntan mcm they at the beach sia M18 plzzzzz

Gonna go JB with my parents tmrw woohoo! Till then xoxo