This is the starting of my greatest fear

Oh i'll make it without you, and though my bodies lying here it's my mouth that must be lying now

My monday is boring :( i'm pretty much nursing myself from the post-party depression and i kind of feel sick now sighpie. Lying on my bed doing nothing just watching youtube videos. 

So the guy is apparently napping now as he slept at 4am last night and woke up at 6.30am as he has to go back camp for training. I woke up at 10am and was told that he's already done with training already wtf i damn pig. I even fell asleep while texting with him last night zzzz. So yup....... I guess i'm gonna go take a nap after i'm done with the post and hope that he'd be awake by then time i'm up from my nap. 

But then again, i won't let myself be in a situation where i'll experience a heartbreak again. I won't let him close enough to hurt me. I won't let myself be dependent on him and then be lost when he's no longer here. I don't wanna waste anymore time on nursing a heartbreak, i'd rather waste my time nursing this current post-party depression...... at least i had fun. For this i promise myself i'll be strong and see how things go :)

edited/

So right after i'm done with this post the boy texted me hahahahha! He fell asleep at 11am+ just now and in 10mins time he told me his dog was barking and woke him up. I was having lunch then it was 20mins after he sent me that text. Now that he's awake it's my turn to take a nap. I'm so mentally drained and i dont know why too :(