We were so young then, we were too crazy in love

Last day of October 2012

With my lublubs during statistics 8am in the morning just now :)

Feeling all sorts of emotions right now, i really hate having mixed feelings. It's like you don't know whether to laugh or cry, i'm really stuck in between. 

Last year exactly this date is the date where my world collapsed (kind of for that period). I lost someone whom once meant the world to me, someone who is able to make me smile without even trying, someone who is cute in his own way, someone who has taught me so much in life, someone who actually made me a better person. Someone who i no longer keep in contact with. I'm really thankful for having you to be part of my life for such a long yet short period of time. 

So yup 1 year just flew past without me realizing. I got caught in my own thoughts today. Right person wrong time, wrong person right time. Right now this person............ is he a right or wrong person. Is this the right or wrong timing? I don't want to be an option. I hate being one.

Nostalgia

Honeystars and milk for breakfast on a saturday morning

Went for NP's annual band concert in the evening. 

Nostalgia - when i was young

It was kind of an old school theme, pretty interesting and heard many familiar songs from my childhood :-)

 With C :)

With JY :)

With buddy :)

With K :)

Didn't manage to take much photos cos i think i look quite cui yesterday haha. We had our supper at KAP's macs and i tried the samurai burger which turn out pretty yummy because the meat is damn soft? Haha super sinful but my tummy is happy! 

So i spend my sunday with my family! We went chinatown to book our annual overseas trip! This year we're going Beijing!!! I'm quite excited cos the weather there is really cold + i wanna see snowww :( I can't wait for december already, need a getaway from singapore.

I find myself unhappy in things i do nowadays. I find myself expecting more from people once they start being good to me. I hate being so reliant on people. I get scared whenever someone tells me that they will always be there for me, because in the end everyone leaves. For now, i guess i should stop expecting? Although the boy is really good and sweet but even an idiot can see that he can't get over his ex. 

Six degrees of separation

First, you think the worst is a broken heart

What's gonna kill you is the second part 

And the third, is when your world splits down in the middle

And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself

Fifth, you see them out with someone else

And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little

Dance the night away

Random update about my life.

My colourful chart during statistics lab lesson yesterday. Too free till i'm doing this HAHAHA.

Went to NP yesterday after school as mine ended at 11am!!! 

Had the legendary panggang for lunch, super nice :') And this ugly photo actually has 21 likes on my instagram #getwhatimean #popularfood #foodporn #haha #yummy

With XX and C! Met buddy for awhile too but didn't manage to take a photo with him haha!

Crashed XX's law lecture. Wah damn boring buey tahan...........

My life has been a total ARGH nowadays. I've been feeling like shit every fucking single night and this really sucks. Why do people always treat me so good and suddenly treat me like shit the next second? I hate being an option, i never want to be one. 

The thing about people is that they know i will still stick around no matter how much they hurt me because they know i cherish them, and sadly that's also the reason why they take me for granted. Does it mean that i should stop being so kind to people? I don't know. 

Are you an ass? Cos you make me feel like shit all the time.

Let's make the most of tonight like we're gonna die young

Sunday night :-)

I'm so tired la wtf............... school starts at 8am tmrw argh kill me already :( Add on to the fact that i have to go hiking tmrw from 4-6pm wtf stabself!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So i went to watch Sinister last night with the boy! But it really sucks lor so many shocking scenes only. Haha anyway we went to the starbucks near fullerton after the movie! And just so nice Eason Chan is having his live concert directly opposite at MBS!!! Imagine how happy we are haha! We were sitting at starbucks listening to his live + free concert! #cheapthrills hehe. Around 11.30 we went off! And his driving skills damn power. Small road he drive at 120km/h smlj want i die is it.

Mixed feelings sigh...........

I found you in the darkest hour

TGIF :-)

So i went to USS Halloween last night with them!!!!! 

Was pretty fun but the queue for the rides/haunted house was fucking long i really cannot take it.........

Group photo! Missing out 3 people though :-(

With the nurse who is apparently selling drinks in the blood bag! I'm guessing they are either fruit punch or orange juice HAHAHA

Some deadly ballerina i guess?

Overall USS halloween night was pretty good! I was kind of scared so i keep holding on to karen throughout HAHAHA DAMN LOSER LOL. But imo, if i were to go there again i will definitely go for the haunted houses first before queueing for the rides. I mean...... the rides will ALWAYS be there but the haunted houses won't! :-(

Some random cui selfshot of myself before i went for a run after not doing so for more than a month! #guilty

I think i quite cool here........ no? :(

Hehe hihi!

Meet my doggie ^^

At vivo before heading off to RWS Universal Studios Singapore!!!!

I look weird here but nevermind the both of them so qt here!!!

Yup that sums up my friday night! One word: awesome. Haha i had fun and if i had the energy i will definitely go zouk after the event HAHAHAHAHAH KIDDINGZ. Life has been pretty ok for me these days, couldn't ask for more.

I was watching Wrong Turn 5 just now i swear i really regret watching it argh. So scary.......... i dont mind the gore parts but i really got scared LOL. And i watched Ted too!!! Hehe ted is damn cute!!!!!!! So i was telling the boy i want ted because ted damn cute. He damn bhb tell me "i also cute you want anot?" LOL WHUTTTTTTTTTTT. 

He has been really busy this week in camp and i'm just here studying playing doing nothing wtf. Glad that he's booking out next week! And btw i'm supposed to spam call him at 5.15am today as he has to report at 6am. I set my alarm and auto woke up at 5am. Trying to be good, i off my alarm and close my eyes thinking that i'll just rest awhile so that he can sleep 15mins more. END UP I FELL ASLEEP AND WOKE UP AT 6.30AM BECAUSE I HEAR BIRDS CHIPPING. Wah i jumped sia quickly called him and the first thing he say "wah you damn early hor i in camp already!" HAHAHA WTF DAMN FAIL. i'm definitely the last candidate if anyone needs a morning call from............. 

Gonna watch RM now i need some laughing hehe goodnight world xx

There comes a point in life where you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.

Photos taken during statistics class! 

Sometimes i really wanna slap myself, always posing stupid poses one HAHAHA

So my week has been occupied by school school and still school. I'm tired beyond tired and all i can ever think about is sleep nowadays :( Lesson from 2-4pm today i really find it a waste of time lor go school for 2hrs only?!?! Friday 2-5pm wtf no more tgif already la what the shit. But on a happier note, I'M GOING USS HALLOWEEN TOMORROW!!!! 

And people who're close to me knows that i've not been the usual me these few days especially yesterday :( I'm kind of affected by many things la. Yesterday is probably one of those days where everything just decides to come crashing down on me. I lost my cool and teared in the train omw home WTF. Teared only hor not cried #proudforwhatsia. Aiya i'm damn affected and all but i'm back to the happy me already!!!!! :')

The boy called me awhile ago and i let my phone ring a few times before i pick up. Guess what's the first thing he say? First thing not say hello hor, power one this guy.

Him: why? you see my name then scared ah take so long to pick up!

Me: YA RIGHT. What you want!

Him: I walking back to office la very far so called you lor cannot ah?

Me: Scared say la say till so nice call me somemore

Him: I scared what sia i need to be scared meh? 

Me: AH YA YA YA.

Damn idiot one this guy everytime die die cannot lose to me one zzzzz. 

School starts at 2pm tmrw which means i can sleep late tonight woohoo! Goodnight world i'm gonna catch up on all the drama!!!!!!! 

What time is it where you are

Been so busy with school that i don't even have to the time to come update my blog :( 

Glad that lesson starts at 2pm later so i'm free to update it now woo!

Spent the last sunday night before school starts with them :-)

Dinner at EWF @ Holland V. 

Love the tandoori chicken sandwich and root beer float, alwayssss.

C!

Hehe meet my maria! Super idiotic guy who never fails to bully me zzz

1st day of Year 2 Sem 2! With my naimayxn ^^

Gifts from my favourite girl all the way from taiwan!!!

Day 2 of school with my lublubs ^^

We're trying out centre parting. Too funny laugh until i wanna die in school HAHAHA

Day 3 of school! My fav girl <3

This photo with her actually has 16 likes in my instagram. Wah nowadays all the people likes all the unexpected photos one ah.

School has been so hectic these days :-( I've got 8am lessons on tuesday and wednesday, damn burden. And i got adventure for my sports module, guess what? IT'S NOT EVEN ADVENTUROUS LOR ZZZ. It's rock climbing what the shit. So i kind of regret choosing it la, plus in that class only my fav girl, one guy classmate and me is year2, the rest of them are year 1 students oh my i feel old........ And i had SIP (something like my year 1's gen ed) and apparently it is quite fun hahaha! But my lecturer damn wtf this indian lady she talk like chanting through the 2hrs lesson fml. 

So about the boy............. aiya i kind of have mixed feelings about him already. I don't think i wanna let him even have the chance to hurt me. It sucks la he kind of have this on/off thing maybe because of work. So hmm i guess i'll see how things goes. But yesterday was really the shittest day in my life. I even teared in the train omw home walau zzzz. At least i feel better now. Haha till then!  

Some nights

Hi i'm here again tonight ^^

From my instagram!

So i uploaded this panda swiss roll that i had for supper and i was expecting it to have alot of likes........ end up only got 15 #smlj #wtf #mepeksial #funnyah

So my conclusion: REALLY NEED TO POST FAMOUS STUFFS LIKE LAOBAN. This cake so cute lor why no people appreciate it :'(

School is starting on monday and i'm realllllly very excited for it. Ok la not exactly very excited but i'm excited HAHAHA. I can't wait to talk cock sing song and get scolded together with my fav lublubs!!!!!!! My timetable changed a little...... instead of 1pm, my class starts at 11am on monday. But not bad i guess? :-)

Gonna watch the drama i've been watching after this! The boy is having his sexy time at zouk tonight hope he's gonna have fun! I'm just gonna sleep when i'm tired! Goodnight world i know this post is meaningless xoxo

AND BUDDY IF YOU'RE READING THIS,

I miss you alot la bitch, got so much to update you about. You've been so busy with your commitments these days :'( You know i'm not those kind of girl who will ditch her friends for bf/date one right.............. You're still the 1st in my heart! You win the boy ok HAHAHA. UPDATE ME ABOUT YOUR STUPID LIFE TOO MISS YOU XOXO <3

Let's live like legends

Why am i here when i should be with you instead

Hihi world! Thought that i should be blogging whenever i'm free before school starts next monday :-( And rp is starting school tmrw wtf suck on that man HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Anyway i was texting the boy last night and we were bickering and i said see who can hold out longer not to text lor. END UP HE DAMN POWER HE WENT TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!! What a smart move wah i need to learn from him!!! So right now he's at his friend's house drinking away......... And the problem is he's driving zzzz. 

Me: Don't drink so much! You're driving!

Him: I know my limits unlike you!

Me: Wah want say i burden again is it!!!

Him: At least you drunk got me to take care of you hor!

Want i punch him is it?!?!

Haha but i must say my life has been pretty interesting these days with him around. He's such a sweet guy...... Like when i'm going out and he's driving he will ask me need he drive me there anot and stuffs. But maybe because chasing period that's why so sweet? :/

I was also telling him awhile ago that i'm walking home. Then he told me "be careful later people kidnap you. I'm not Bryan Mills in Taken hor! I can only beg him to tell me where you are." WHUUUUUUT THIS MADE MY NIGHT HAHAHA

/edited

Time-check: 1.07am, i'm watching this drama called SOP queen and texting the boy. Funny how the two of us is so childish yet things is really fun and not boring at all. So he's driving home now and needs to concentrate on the road haha! I kind of feel blessed at this moment as i'm typing this :') It's like someone really cared about you and makes you feel loved.

Thankful :-)

I'm frozen with this fear that you might disappear

Overthinking killed my happiness. Insecurities killed my self-esteem. Lies killed my trust.

I seriously suck........... I'm typing this while crying right now argh. 

I detest myself being like this. Being so vulnerable. I've been making myself stronger a little everyday after the previous breakup. It took me so long to become whom i am today. But it is gonna take someone sooooo easy to break all the walls i've built to protect myself. I have many insecurities and i no longer know how it feels like to be happy of how i look.

So close your eyes escape from this town a little while

Haha hi......... this post is slightly awkward but i shall just continue ok :p

So i went for a date with the boy just now! He picked me up at 8.15pm under my block and drove to Lido (Shaw house) for Taken 2!!!!!! I love Taken alot because the dad is damn cool like my hero hehe. So initially we both were worried that it will be awkward cos the first time we met was at zouk...... which was quite inappropriate la but i'm glad everything went well! :-) So we talked alot in the car, reached town went to get the tickets which he apparently made an advance booking (smart move), walked around and sat down while waiting for the movie to start. While watching he damn spoiler keep saying out what the characters will say before they actually said it!!!!!! Cos he watched it the 2nd time :-( So mean la sigh. Anywayyyy after the movie we kind of toured around Singapore in the car cos we dont know where to go. We ended up at the floating platform there! Walked one big round, passed by the merlion, fullerton hotel, CBD, avalon, mbs and back again. Was pretty nice just strolling and talking! Got to know him better and he seem nice........ doesn't feel like a player.

He was considerate and all la, like the little gestures ya know......... Opening the door and letting me go first, ask for my opinion and sending me to my doorstep as he's worried. Even staying out till almost 2am although he has to wake up at 6.30am later! Good guy yes/no? hahaha goodnight world i'm gonna watch the tv for a while and head to bed! xoxo

For the first time what's past is past

Begin again

I've been spending the last 8 months thinking all love ever does was break and burn and end.

I have to admit that i've been wasting my day away nowadays and i honestly don't know what i've been doing. Sleep/tv/computer/eat/shit. I kind of detest myself for wasting my time away like this but i really don't even feel like stepping out of my comfort zone right now. I just wanna look like shit and not care about how i look at home...

Oh ya so i've been texting the boy for the past few days from the moment i wake up till i sleep. It feels good to be receiving good morning/goodnight texts all over again after almost 1year? It really feels like i've known him for a very long time, we can really shit-talk the whole day and bicker over the slightest thing. He calls me silly all the time, i must have been a silly young girl in his eyes the first time we met. He calls me pig all the time when he realize i didn't reply in 20mins time because i fell asleep. He's a good catch and i think..... i think i'm slowly falling for this guy whom i promised myself to not fall for.

Come back to me burning red

I keep reminding myself never to put myself in a situation whereby i'll be reliant and dependent on someone again.
I don't wanna go through the same shit heartbreak ever again. Crying till my eyes were so swollen looking so pathetic. No one to blame but myself for being so silly.
I never wanna see myself feeling so sad all over again. It's been so long but it doesn't mean i miss having my heart broken.

But most of all, i do miss receiving good morning texts the first thing i wake up, i do miss having someone i'll called mine, someone who's gonna know me better than i know myself, someone whom is gonna be both my boyfriend and bestfriend, someone who's willing to shit talk with me the whole day texting each other and lazing around, someone who's able to love me at my worst, someone who will make me laugh on days i don't even feel like laughing, someone who is gonna teach me things i've never known, someone who is aware of my insecurities and is always sensitive about it. Someone whom i will love and will love me even more.

Please don't be so good to me. Please.

This is the starting of my greatest fear

Oh i'll make it without you, and though my bodies lying here it's my mouth that must be lying now

My monday is boring :( i'm pretty much nursing myself from the post-party depression and i kind of feel sick now sighpie. Lying on my bed doing nothing just watching youtube videos. 

So the guy is apparently napping now as he slept at 4am last night and woke up at 6.30am as he has to go back camp for training. I woke up at 10am and was told that he's already done with training already wtf i damn pig. I even fell asleep while texting with him last night zzzz. So yup....... I guess i'm gonna go take a nap after i'm done with the post and hope that he'd be awake by then time i'm up from my nap. 

But then again, i won't let myself be in a situation where i'll experience a heartbreak again. I won't let him close enough to hurt me. I won't let myself be dependent on him and then be lost when he's no longer here. I don't wanna waste anymore time on nursing a heartbreak, i'd rather waste my time nursing this current post-party depression...... at least i had fun. For this i promise myself i'll be strong and see how things go :)

edited/

So right after i'm done with this post the boy texted me hahahahha! He fell asleep at 11am+ just now and in 10mins time he told me his dog was barking and woke him up. I was having lunch then it was 20mins after he sent me that text. Now that he's awake it's my turn to take a nap. I'm so mentally drained and i dont know why too :(

You used to shine so brightly but i watched all of it fade

HI I'M BACK WITH PICTURES WOOHOO!!!!

Friday 05/10/2012. Day out with JX and K! ^^

Saturday 06/10/2012. Went for brunch at Strictly Pancakes with Bigfour!!! <3

Hehe my yummy homemade hot chocolate!

Our pancakessss!

With K in the mrt with bigfour to the airport!

Hehe bigfour my fav girls!!!! <3

My hair looks like it is being dip-dyed here although it's long gone :(

XX!!! The best kind of friend anyone could have :')

On our way to zouk last night!!!

So we went for strictly pancakes for brunch and headed to the airport yesterday to fetch JY! Damn shiok to see her go China for 5weeks so envyyyy. And it kind of sucked that i'm going to the airport but isn't travelling sighpie :(

So we went zouk last night!!!!!!!!!!!! With xx, k, c, her bf and 2 guys! Cleared one bottle of Bacardi before heading into zouk. The mixer they used really damn faaaaaaaaaaail. Bacardi apple + lime juice really not nice :( But 7UP with it was good love it! So we partyed and drank till we were goners. We drank bubblegum shots, flaming and stuffs. Super high and the uv lights inside zouk is forever so fun haha! I was told that i was actually dancing with a random guy AND THANKFULLY HE'S A HANDSOME ONE. He smelled so nice and C told me he damn good took care of me. After which i was being taken care by Ben (one of the two guys with us) and i heard i was a burden sighhhh. 

Funny thing is we're actually texting each other now and i'm so not gonna pin any hopes on this although he really seem to be a good guy (at least for now). He has 2 cars + family owns 2 factory + not flirty type (his friend told us) + stay in cck (SO NEAR ME OMG) + didn't take advantage of me while i was gone. Good catch right :/ And now he's asking me to go club again next week sigh sigh sigh howwwww :(

Lay down so i don't feel so sick

Self-shots woohoo! 

Been soooo long yes? :( Lazygirl94 has been really lazy to dress up these days.....

The Sun has been really good to me yesterday hehe. End up my photo come out so nice ^^

Daisy prints x hello kitty

Ate at Xinwang Hongkong Cafe!

Mango pomelo sago ice x peanut butter toast x custard bun

I SUPER LOVE THEIR CUSTARD BUN!!!!!!!!!!!

With C!!!!! #bff #anyhow #hashtag #again #mepeksial #lightningnotnice :(

Went out with her yesterday! And then she came out my house to book the air tix for bkk! We're done with the bookings for hotel and air tix woohoo!!!!!!!!!! Now we're just gonna wait for dec to come yay ^^v She's my 1st friend to see my newly revamped bedroom too hehe.

Gonna met xx and k tmrw!!!! Miss them so much i think it has been months since we last met :( And we're meeting again on saturday for strictly pancakes big4 date!!!!!!!!!!!! Then we will be fetching JY from the airport! Back from her 6weeks of internship in China ^^

Suddenly feel that we've really grown up. Feels like yesterday that we're still in secondary school, wasting our time away doing nothing all day, and now we're all in poly year2 already :') It feels really good that years down the road we're all still friends! Best gift i've received in my life. C, XX, K, JIAY, SM, ST, JUNY, ZG, HH. Wah i miss this maria :( He went korea today so shiok sighpie. Holidays is ending in 11 days time.... mixed feelings really.

AND ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I PASSED MY BASIC THEORY EVALUATION BITCHES NOW I'M GONNA WAIT FOR MY BASIC THEORY TEST WHICH IS IN DEC ZZZZZ. And i went jogging after my nap just now, i swear i almost died. I felt so miserable and my vision seems to be blocked by some dark shadows. Feel like vomitting too. SIAN I WAS HOPING I'D VOMIT COS I WNA SLIM DOWN :(

XOXO